Grey: What's Next?

Thank you to everyone who has been lifting me up in prayer the past few months! I have decided to be done serving in Haiti for the time being, and just want to highlight a few reasons why I have chosen this direction.

Living in Haiti and serving alongside Many Hands for Haiti has been an incredible journey. I have made so many friends that I will cherish in my heart for years to come. I have learned so much being here and I embrace everything I have learned from the Lord, my fellow Haitian staff, and my co-worker Heather. I have learned a lot about trust, faithfulness, love, and sacrifice. I am blessed to have been a part of the work being done here and I find that it has grown me so much into a stronger young woman. 

I believe the Lord is calling me elsewhere, although where exactly, I am not yet certain. I have been praying about open doors and people to be placed in my path when the timing is right in moving forward with other ministry options. God has been showing me what it looks like to trust Him and the plan that He has – even when I cannot see that far ahead. Sometimes things are black and sometimes they’re white. But this next step for me: it’s grey. I don’t know what will be next, but what I do know is that I serve a God of color, beauty, and vibrancy and I choose to trust that He knows what’s next.

These past few months the Lord has been tugging on my heart, speaking tenderly to me like He does so well. I felt like my hands were open but He was not dropping anything into them. The wise Father comforted me by revealing a few profound questions. Can I accept Him anyway? Even with these empty hands? Can He be enough in this moment? It comforts me to know that my God sees so many more steps ahead of what I see. Right now, I believe He is calling me to obedience, like He did when He called me to Haiti. I did not know what would be ahead of me; I just knew that I was to be there. I knew that I was called to not only go, but to trust Him and act faithfully. That is what I am trying to do now.   

My love for Haiti is still strong and I love the work being done here. I am awaiting the Lord on what ministry outside of Haiti looks like and I am very eager in pursuing His further plans for me and for the expanding of His Kingdom, whether in formal ministry or otherwise.

I am so grateful that you have been following me and experiencing things with me on this incredible journey. Bondye bon (God is good) J

Trusting Him,

Cassidy

Love[in'] the Moment

Lately I've been learning what it really means to love. To be present. To be fully and totally submerged in what is going on around me and completing tasks to the best of my ability with my focus Heavenward. Of course, my focus isn't always on things above, in fact - lots of times I get caught up in wondering about other things, less important things, rather than being.

Being. In the moment.

Loving. In the moment.

Loving the moment.

1 Thessalonians 3:12 -"May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else."

Love. "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

"Living radical isn't about where you live- it's about how you love. It's about realizing - Love doesn't happen when you arrive in a certain place. It happens when your heart arrives in a certain place - wherever you are, right where you are, dirt road Africa or side street America. Because it isn't where we love. It's who we love. The reward of loving is in the loving; loving is itself the great outcome of loving. The success of loving is in how we change because we kept on loving - regardless of anything else changing." ----- Ann Voskamp. Author of "One Thousand Gifts."

My reward is seeing one of these precious ones smiling up at me with their tiny faces covered in rice. Their eyes smiling with gratitude and treasured innocence. My reward is hearing my name shouted out over the rumble of the motorcycle as we ride past little houses and playing children, and hoping that one day they can shout even louder the name of Jesus over the rumble of opposition and trials because they saw love displayed in their neighborhood.

When we love right where we are, in the moments we are given, when our love increases because of Jesus, we will evidently overflow. People will see - and, in turn, be blessed and hopefully love the way they once saw it before.

And is that not our calling? To love? To bless?

Indeed, it is.

For when we love and bless in Jesus' name, no matter where we are, we further His Kingdom and reveal His character so that others can see this Jesus we believe in.

And then there's value in cherishing the moments you have with those around you. Loving a little deeper each day - every chance you are given. Loving the moment.

Loving the moment of a child on my lap clapping their tiny hands to Jezi Renmen Mwen (Jesus Loves Me), or loving the string of notes that make up How Great Thou Art coming from our cook Beatrice's lips as she humbly serves us by cooking a meal or doing the dishes.

My prayer for myself and for you, dear reader, is that your love may increase and overflow to those around you. That you may fully be in the moments that you are given. Stretch our your hand. Help a stranger. Love in the moment.

Embrace the moments. Love each and every one of them.

Because life is a gift. And a gift worth loving.

Merci, Joy

It’s a new year and it’s good to be back in Haiti! I arrived in Port-Au-Prince on January 17, and Wood and Cliff brought me safely to Pignon.  The bumpy ride felt so familiar and actually lulled me to sleep after a long, sleepless night in the Chicago airport.  Thank you to everyone who was praying for my safe travels back to Haiti.

The breeze feels nice right now as it tumbles in through my window, refreshing and cool after a warm day. Thrive for 5 went well today – Ester (our health agent who comes every Tuesday) weighed some of the children and we distributed some medicine and bandaged up some more “owies”.

It has been really great having Heather’s mom and two other ladies (Christi and Sharon) here for an additional week after their team from Spencer returned back to the States. They are all really special ladies. We have had the joy of hosting them until tomorrow and they will then fly home.

Sometimes, amidst all the activity, (riding to and from Savanette, quieting and laughing with children, and teaching English to a very bright and intelligent group,) I get very run down and feel exhausted physically, but more so emotionally. After pouring out all day, my “emotional love cup” feels like there are just a few little dribbles left at the bottom – not nearly enough love or joy for another person or conversation.

“When I stumble, when I fall, when I’m walking ten feet tall – Your love is there day after day. Even at the worst extreme, or after I have been redeemed; Your love is there and it won’t let me go.” – Joy Williams.

Sometimes loving people is hard, and sometimes it physically feels like there is no more left in me to give. I am so grateful to serve a God whose love for me never runs out or goes dry. It never dribbles but is always filled to the brim and overflowing – pouring over everything, everyone, and every situation that I face. His love is all-encompassing and forever and His mercy never runs out.

As I write this, I’m listening to Joy Williams’ beautiful song: ‘The Love of the Lord Endures’ on repeat. What a sweet and uplifting promise, that “the Love of the Lord endures.” So even when I’m running low on steam and love, my Lord’s love uplifts me and truly endures.

Not coincidentally, I was reading Psalm 13 this morning. Truly, the Lord knew exactly what I was going to need to be reminded of today: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.” (13:5-6).

So even when I feel deprived of love or that I’m running out of love to show, I desire to trust in God’s beautiful, unfailing, constant, unconditional love- Because it undoubtedly forever endures. And when we do trust in that love, knowing that it endures, we find ourselves getting filled to the brim with His joy.

“So I hold on to the mighty truth, that Your love is here to stay.” – Joy Williams.

I praise the Lord today for redeeming me, valuing me, and loving me. He has shown me amazing Grace and has filled me up when I feel empty. My prayer is that you, too, can “know this love that surpasses knowledge.” (Ephesians 3:19).   When the love of God takes root in my sometimes not so loveable heart, it is then that joy abounds and only then can I shine brighter with the strength given me that comes from the Father.

Merci, Joy Williams, for writing such soothing and true words in your song. And thanks to joy that comes from God the Father, we can better look like images of Himself.

“Lord, grant that I may seek to comfort than to be comforted, to understand than to be understood; to love than to be loved; for it is by forgetting self that one finds; it is forgiving that one is forgiven; it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.”

Be blessed today!

Check out Heather's blog too! Click here!

Bondye bon :)

Fall Afresh on Me

Last week Thursday a team from Pella led by Tim Van Maanen joined us in Pignon. It has really been a refreshing time with them. I have been so blessed by their presence here and have been soaking up their words of encouragement and affirmation.

Heather and I joined the team for lunch the afternoon they arrived and we participated in bubbly and excited chatter. It was fun to hear that this was the first trip to Haiti for four of them. It has been fun hearing about their first impressions and seeing how the Lord is choosing to use them on this trip to serve His people.

 It has been eye-opening to see that they have already been used in a very huge and very real way. I never really thought that their coming would be such a blessing for me—how simple questions like: “What have been your highs and lows of your past few months here?”  could make me feel incredibly cared for and considered. I am being gradually poured into more and more in interacting and conversing with this team and I thank Jesus for bringing them at His perfect time.

So they may or may not physically do something that changes hundreds of lives in Haiti while being here for one week…but I can testify that them coming with their questions of concern and regard for my spiritual and physical well-being here has been tremendously eye-opening and has truly been a beautiful blessing to me. They said “yes” to the call of a week-long mission trip to Haiti and stepped out in faithful obedience to the Father. Their servant-hearted submission to His call will speak wonders to the Haitian people and it definitely has been speaking to me as well.  

We are called to choose love and be Love. God has given me an incredible opportunity to love the people of Haiti and be of service to Him and His people here. I am thankful for His Word which is my daily bread, His love for me and regard for my situation, and the beautiful reality that I, too, can be blessed by people from my hometown and their desire to serve.

My eyes have been opened to how much they already have answered the call of the Lord and how many prayers have been answered as a direct result of their obedience.

"Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25

Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me. Melt me. Mold me. Fill me. Use me.

Praise be to God!

Jesus Joy

Bonswa (good afternoon) from Pignon! It is a great day to be alive!

We had the privilege of hosting Heather’s parents while they were here in Haiti for 9 days. It was a lot of fun to show them all of the activities we have been up to these past few months. They were good sports and woke up early with us every morning to teach English at the hospital as well as went to both programs during the day. We had a really fun time with them!

Heather and I are so privileged to work with such great, God-fearing individuals. We are so thankful for each one of our Haitian friends.

Teams have been coming for one week at a time and live in the house next to us. It has been fun to answer their questions and tell them about what we have been doing while we have been here. Some of the team members have come to the Thrive program and observed there as well.

We are now only running the Thrive for 5 program. The after school program (BOOST) has been put on hold for a while so that we can regroup and hopefully make it more effective. We are still teaching English in the mornings and are very much enjoying the doctors and nurses that attend class. The past few weeks we have been teaching them verbs and also had a few days where we have been having small conversation. They really enjoy coming up front and trying out the new English words they have learned. They really appreciate us teaching them because when we see them around they will smile very big and say: “My teacher!”  It feels so good to be serving these individuals who do so much good here in Pignon.

The past few weeks have been long and full. The days require so much energy and sometimes I find myself running low. Sometimes I find myself not very happy. And sometimes I find myself feeling frustrated, irritated, and disappointed.

Sometimes happiness here is hard to come by. The days consist of lots of different emotions and occasional conflict in embracing a different culture. Sometimes I just need to be alone. It feels good to be in the comfort of my room where I feel the most safe…where I can release emotions I may not have known were bubbling up inside of me as a result of a long day.  

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10.  This verse has been one to remind me daily that a loss of happiness doesn’t mean a loss of joy. Joy is a constant flow that comes as a result of loving and being loved by a merciful, gracious God. Knowing this joy that comes from Jesus is enough to keep my inner spirits always joyful. However, sometimes I am broken inside and my head is spinning with all kinds of emotions and thoughts that I can’t seem to keep straight. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning. But even though I may be saddened or frustrated by the constant weight of things going on here (or back home) I have not lost the constant joy that is deep within because of the King who is still on His throne even on my weakest days. There is a beautiful, blessed assurance and peace that comes with really knowing “the joy of the Lord is [my] strength.”

Because I am a child of the Most High God, I can have peace that His love abides and remains unchangeable. Sad I may be one day…frustrated, irritated, or disappointed…but holding fast and trusting in the One who is the King of my heart is promised to give me the strength that I need in the moment.

It has been a real privilege and blessing to be able to see that joy also means I have the honor of being allowed to serve the Lord. Every day is filled with opportunities to serve, whether it is in a small way or a big one. I have sensed this deep joy when serving in Jesus’ name and it compels me to want to love deeper, give more, and be visible Joy to those who have yet to experience it.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26. I praise the Lord for always being stronger than the feelings of my heart. Because I know that feelings are temporary, but joy that comes from loving and being loved by Jesus is constant.  

Thank you, prayer warriors, for praying for us while we have been serving here in the Lord’s beautiful Haiti. Please pray that we always remember joy and bask in the knowledge that from that “Jesus joy” we are strengthened. Please also continue to keep us lifted up as we walk in His marvelous light.

Above all, our utmost desire is to reflect, honor, and make famous the name of Jesus!

Check out Heather's blog! Click here!

Surpassing Greatness

We are enjoying a nice relaxing weekend consisting of stir fry on Friday night (of course), painting our nails, and taking some time to ourselves to read and write. We both value our alone time and consider it necessary in order for us to be energized for the week ahead.

I am very much enjoying teaching English at the hospital here in Pignon! We have a lot of fun with the doctors. They help us and we help them. This past Thursday was a really cool example of just that. One of our friends and other motorcycle driver NaTao, received a minor injury while on our way home from Savanette. Some rocks kicked up and hit his left shin, resulting in a good sized welt right on his bone. He was in a great amount of pain. Heather and I did our best to help him: we gave him an ice pack to put on it, and also some pain relievers. We later decided to go to the hospital to see if we could find any of our doctor friends to help us. We (Heather, Woody, and I) rode to the hospital and Heather and I went inside, searching for some familiar faces. We approached a cluster of nurses and recognized a young nurse who was in our class! The day before this, we taught the English phrase: “I need help.” So we approached the young lady that we recognized from class and told her we needed her help. She smiled big, recognizing us as well, and we brought her to NaTao who was waiting for us outside. He received a shot and some care from the nurses and was then given a prescription. None of us had any money on us because we left the house so quickly. We walked to the “pharmacy” in the hospital, all the while praying for a miracle. We got there and a man took the prescription from us. The man ended up being yet another one of our students! He filled NaTao’s prescription and we were on our way. No charge. We are so thankful to have such great connections while we are living here in Pignon.            

The Thrive for 5 program is still going well, however sometimes things get frustrating. At times it is hard to adapt to the culture here and the slow pace in which it runs. We are so used to doing things at a fast speed and we are required to understand things quickly. Things here run slower. It has been good to see that the pace here is not bad, but different. The Lord has been granting us a lot of patience and mercy as we interact with His people. A few days ago we received nametags for all the children enrolled in the program and we just started using them yesterday. Things went a lot smoother and we are pleased with how it is working out. Prayer warriors, please continue to pray for this program! Mesi bokou J (Thank you so much.)

The past few days we have had children joining us on the bench up front. It is so heart-warming to see them excited to see us every day. They enter from the back, see us sitting at our usual spot up front, and some sort of gallop/run/waddle towards us. One little boy named Lensly had a large cut on the top of his tiny hand a few days ago. We noticed and put a bandaid and Neosporin on it. We did this for about a week and a half. It has been so awesome to see that his hand has been healing! Praise the Lord!

Earlier this week we had the incredible opportunity to give some food to three very poor residents of Pignon, one individual from Savanette, and a family from Savanette. It was our pleasure to bless them in the name of Jesus and see them rejoicing as a result of receiving a meal.  One lady, who lived in a tiny, dirty space received the rice and began singing and praising Jesus. I couldn’t help but smile and see such beauty in the heart of this lovely person. She took a few bites and then hurriedly tucked the rest in a little bag she had with her. Our good friend Ebens was with us and he told us that she said she was going to go share it with a man we gave food to just the other day. She was so joyful in receiving the food, and even more joyful that she was going to be able to share it with someone. I was so overwhelmed when I stared at this fragile, toothless, beautiful saint of a woman. She truly knew what it was like to have nothing but yet have so much because of “knowing the surpassing greatness” of the Abba Father. Philippians 3:8.

I learn more and more Creole with each passing day. I love languages so much and I try to soak up as much as I can. I'm so thankful for my friends here who help me by sometimes only conversing with me in Creole. 

Sweet Jesus, You are truly great. Thank You for loving us wholly and truly.

I pray that whoever is reading this, you will come to discover the magnitude of Love Christ Jesus has for you. And that you may “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Ephesians 3:18.

I am so grateful to see that God has shown me love unfailing here in Haiti. I pray that I can continue to see the world through the eyes of God the Father. 

Check out Heather's blog too! Click here!

For He is Good

It’s a lovely rainy evening in Pignon.  I really enjoy when it rains. We keep the windows open and the breeze is really cool and refreshing. We have been here three weeks and the days seem to be flying past us. Monday was our first day of the program and we had a really good turn-out; and then Tuesday we fed 97 children! Handing out food to these kids is really an amazing experience. Then watching some of the mothers feeding their small children the rice or beans was equally rewarding. Each day this week we opened the program with some songs, had a time of getting into the Word, prayer, the meal, and then filling up cups with water.

Each day continues to be a new experience. Heather and I treated ourselves to another at-home Haitian pedicure (we soaked our feet in a sudsy warm basin of water and scrubbed our feet with a hand-held dish scrubber). The first time we did this, we just had a long day of riding motorcycle and working in the Savanette area. We enjoy doing things that give us a little taste of home: painting our nails and making stir-fry on Friday nights.

Heather and I will be teaching English to a group of doctors at the hospital here in Pignon in the mornings. We have already started putting together some things to teach and we will start on Wednesday. Prayer warriors, please be lifting us up as we prepare for our sessions and carry them out to the best of our ability.

The Lord continues to amaze me here. The past few days have been trying for our Many Hands staff. Our co-worker, Zeke’s dad was hit by a motorcycle a few days ago and he just passed away yesterday morning. While he was in the hospital, our team made an effort to see him a few times and pray for him there.  We have been coming together as a team, not only to make the program run smoothly and be effective in the lives of these children, but also to build one another up and be sources of encouragement and support during this hard time. It has been really cool to see how the Lord has continually extended His hand of comfort in this situation.

God is good always. Even when we think He doesn’t heal in ways that we want Him to heal, or He does things that we do not understand. We continually prayed for healing over Zeke’s dad, but the Lord chose to heal him in a far greater way: by giving him life eternal with the Lord forever. While we were in the hospital, we saw, lying in the bed near Zeke’s dad, the young man who was driving the motorcycle that day. He had a cut on his head. As we were heading out, we asked the young man if we could pray for him. We hope and pray that he was deeply affected by the power of the Lord and that, as a result of this situation, will come to know the Father in a very real way. The Lord’s goodness was very real in that moment. We can stand assured that the Lord is good always.

“You [the evil one] intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” –Genesis 50:20

Thanks to all who have been keeping us lifted up in prayer. We are so moved by the faithfulness and providence of the King of Kings.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.” -1 Chronicles 16:34

Bon nwit from Pignon!

Zanmi ou, (your friend)
Cassidy

Check out Heather's blog by clicking here!